- My husband and I are retired and have four kids ranging from 20 to 28 years old.
- We offered money to our kids and their families to come meet us in Italy.
- It wasn't a perfect trip, but it was absolutely worth it.
My husband, Andrew, retired early after we sold our business. We live in Melbourne, Australia, but now we spend a lot of time traveling.
Our four kids, on the other hand, are all working hard — the youngest is still at university, but she juggles part-time work. Aged 20 to 28, two of the kids have mortgages and all the expenses that go with owning a property. Being young and not having much spare money is a stage of life that is character-building, but, as parents, we want to be able to help our kids out sometimes.
Andrew and I intended to host a family trip to celebrate our 60th birthdays in a few years, but last year, a light bulb went on, and we thought, "Why wait? Let's go now."
We offered each of the kids enough money toward their airfares to cover flying to Europe. We also offered to pay for accommodation in Puglia, meals, and car hire. The offer was extended to the kids' partners, too. All of them bit our hands off.
We had a blast traveling together
Ten months later, we all gathered in Puglia. We rented a complex with a pool near Alberobello and Martina Franca. We hired two normal-sized cars rather than a massive van (too hard on narrow roads). We visited a town most mornings and sunned ourselves by the pool most afternoons.
We spent a wonderful day together at a Beach Club, Lido Gandoli. Another day, we went for a swim at a public beach in Monopoli. We did two long drives to Matera and Lecce, and both times were rewarded for our efforts with stunning architecture and history.
We had leisurely lunches at local restaurants. By arriving at restaurants when they opened for lunch, we never had trouble getting a table big enough for all of us.
We had breakfast and dinner at our rental, which meant a few trips to the supermarket but saved us money and allowed us to try local produce.
Breakfast was serve yourself and clean up after yourself, which worked. Dinner was done on a rotation, as was setting the table and cleaning up. Dinner at home made for much more relaxed dinners. No one had to worry about what they drank or about driving home on the "wrong side" of the road on poor roads with no street lighting. We had a big outdoor setting, and we had slow dinners and chatted. Sometimes, we played family quizzes.
On a couple of nights, we went indoors after dinner and had a "family movie" night. One night, it was "Gladiator." Most of us had seen it, but it was fun to watch it together in Italy.
We laughed, we ate, we drank, we played games, we swam — it was divine.
It wasn't perfect, but it was absolutely worth it
It was so worth traveling with our adult kids — or Kiddults as we sometimes tease them that they are. As the ad goes, it was priceless.
Was it perfect? No. But families aren't perfect, and every relationship involves compromise.
For Andrew and me, sharing adult time with our kids and their partners without the distraction of work and rushing was wonderful. It will not be much longer before another generation joins our family (we can't wait to be grandparents!), but babies will change everything. Andrew and I really appreciated this time as a group of adults.
It was also lovely to observe our adult kids interact with their siblings and their partners. All you want as a parent is happy, healthy children, and to see them all happy and healthy basking in the Italian sun was joyful beyond words.
Two of the kids are back home in Melbourne already, one will return home next week and one at the end of August. When we're all back in Melbourne, we'll make pasta and reminisce about our wonderful Puglian holiday. That time when we all got gastro!
Our bond as a family unit is that much tighter 🙂 There's no price that can be paid for that.